I just had to do it. The target was too tempting, and the idea too much fun for me to turn away from it. Kind of like watching a train wreck, actually. Read and enjoy.
Meg Whitman Goes to Sacramento
When I learned that Meg Whitman, of Ebay fame, was going to run for Governor of the fair State of California, I was at first surprised. But, then it hit me: it's perfect! Not even David Rockefeller could have dreamed up this one - or maybe he did, but that's another topic for discussion.
Think of it: instead of the current system of back-room bidding for political favors and the secretive purchasing of whole groups of senators and congress(wo)men that is now in place, corporations like Cigna, Exxon and the rest could do it right out in the open. Just like a real auction! How cool would that be? Then, they wouldn't have to hide the stealing and lying, which take up so much of their valuable time. And, Cigna and the other bloodsuckers of their ilk wouldn't have to spend 200+ million a year on 'political donations' (or, in the vernacular: bribes) to get legislation passed that basically screws Californians. Politicians could come out of the closet, finally, and post a Starting Bid and even a Buy It Now price, AND they could make it a Reserve auction (no relation to the Fed intended, although we can be assured that they would participate, as usual), to ensure that they get the top dollar that they are worth.
This could also return at least one state of the USA back to a sense of actual Democracy, as well. Yep, sure can. In an auction, anyone can bid - even the citizens! How novel is this? Californians would then actually be able to enter the bidding process for their elected officials, instead of being shut out of the game. All bidders welcome, is the Ebay philosophy, right? Imagine actually getting the attention of a politician and having them do what you want them to do. I know, it's a stretch to form that thought in your mind, but give it a go. It's really fun, when you get into the concept.
One of the obvious downsides to Meg's business philosophy going to Sacramento would be the lack of customer support. Then, of course, there are the constantly changing rules that are motivated by the sole credo of 'Profit, Profit.' She has stated that the would like to loosen the regulations on the environment for the state: Within months, Sacramento will be handing down new rules to implement AB32, the far-reaching law to restrict greenhouse gas emissions. Signed by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger in 2006, AB32 may have been well intentioned. But it is wrong for these challenging times. With this ongoing economic crisis, the governor has the ability to issue an executive order putting a moratorium on most AB32-related rules. I urge him to do so. And if he does not, I will issue that order on my first day as governor. Yes, I used the colour green to highlight that message as a bit of irony.
After all is said and done, Meg states her ideals quite clearly: "California’s government should be run more like a business..." This is just what California has been waiting for: the corporate mentality of efficiency, greed, self-promotion and political manipulation of issues, regardless of its effect on the populace. Oh...wait...that's how it is now! My bad.
The one thing I would look forward to, if I lived in California, and Meg wins: Feedback. Think how much fun it will be to leave appropriate feedback for those politicians who do not perform in the spirit for which they were purchased! The most obvious benefit is keeping those politicians in line whom we did win at auction. And, the other benefit would be to watch and see which of those politicians won by corporations failed miserably for their winners. They would be good investments for the future, oui? We might even make the name of this auction process Obey!
I may have to rethink the apparent inconceivable nature of Meg and her profits-or-die mantra going to Sacramento. There may, after all, be a great logic behind it all, and actual benefits to the citizens of that fine state. Of course, that would mean that they would actually have to do an auction to buy politicians. Without that benefit it is doubtful that there will be any change in business, in California, when and if Meg gets the voters' nod.
You are in our prayers.
Quotes from Meg's written texts borrowed from this website, under the Fair Use doctrine: http://www.megwhitman.com